Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
