MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
