I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
