i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
