if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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