The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
there is glitter all over my balls
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
