if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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