I'm going to jail i love you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
