i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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