Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
