Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
