He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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