She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
