You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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