East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
