He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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