Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
