Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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