You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she peed on how many people?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
