if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
