how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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