I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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