just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
