is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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