Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
