Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
whose parrot is this?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize