Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
