problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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