my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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