Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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