I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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