Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
