Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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