you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
