for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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