if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
