he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
