We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I will pee on everything he values.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
