Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
