We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This beer is not sobering me up at all
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
