You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
