and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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