We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
