you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I didn't notice because vodka
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
