the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
