this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
