these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
