We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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