Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
