i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
