Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
