Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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