Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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