that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize