I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Randomize
