I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
