This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
