This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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