I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
