I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize