found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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