Church boner. Awkwardddd
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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