There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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