you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
