I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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